The adventure starts... Now!

This is how you know your bad. Prior to taking this picture, I got out of my bed with a fever, headache, coughing up a lung etc. took a bunch of meds, put on a dress, my knee high boots, made myself up and went to celebrate the new year. Despite how I was feeling I refuse to let the enemy defeat me and ring in the new year complaining about my situation. I made grown up lemonade. LOL (mind you for the next 7 days I was sure my head was going to explode, but it was worth it.) I think that's part of my adventure, of our adventure, to defeat the odds regardless the circumstance..So here it is January of 2011 and for the last week I have felt numb. Being sick is no fun and if you know me and have had the honor of taking care of me then you know what I mean.

But today is a different day. So was yesterday. They were "turn around" days. What's a turn around day? It's when you get tired of being sick and tired (sometimes literally) you get dressed and you do something. SO I started to praise God. Yup starting singing to Him all up and down my stairs. While this was happening I started to thank the Father because I have a home, my life, running water and electricity, my loved ones, my health and so much more.

So what's the point of this story? Hold your britches, I'm getting there. Most of you know that this year I turn the "Thrilling Thirty," and I have complied a list of things to do this year to commemorate the grand occasion. From hand gliding to helping build a house to learning how to golf and play chess I made a list. An adventure for every month. Since I don't do new years resolutions each adventure has a goal or a purpose even if its "just because i want to try it."

This month started off kinda slow due to being sick but NOW I'm doing something. It's music month y'all! I am going to listen to an album a day and share my experience with you. My goal is to broaden my musical intellect. Music changes people. It can heal, hurt, make you think, spark the imagination. It can make you make a disgustingly sweet CD for the one you love and dedicate the the hate you song to the one who pissed you off. So let me know if you have any recommendations. I'm looking all over the place!

So excited about this journey. I'm glad you're here to share it with. So when you feel like crap, you're down, or you just honestly don't feel like it. Take my advice...."Do something!"

LOLA!

In my skin.

Two days after my last post, I lost someone super close to me. My grandmother Lola passed away on September 16, 2009. Because I knew she was going to be with the Father I was at peace. I remember the day as if it were yesterday and sometimes i have to shake the memory from my head. It hurt more to hear my mother mourn and cry than to hear that she was gone...I guess no one really wants to see their parents hurting. You feel like there's nothing you can do and for me being 3100 mils away didn't make this part of my process any easier. You see, i knew it was going to happen and God was preparing me for it. being out here you miss out on a lot. Birthdays, weddings, Births, and now deaths. because of the distance i wasnt able to make the funeral. But I would much rather remember her as I do now.



She was great. The kind of lady that drove you crazy with her old fashion naivete but you love because that's one of the things that made her great. She'd hear a good song and sway with the beat. I can taste her arroz con leche and arbondigas now....I wonder if i can make them like her... We would go for walks to the store as kids duck umbrella in hand. She would wake my cousin up with ice water baths (lol). Her wake -up call was between 5& 6 AM, she thought that if you slept later than that it was a waste of time or you were sick. Chicken nuggets, sprite, vanilla cookies, coffee and Salem cigarettes were a few of her favorite things..Lola may not have had all the money or education, but she never lacked in her love for God and her family.





Lola is always in my heart.

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Just on the other side.

If you know me, you know i have this avid love of the city of New York and all it has to offer. As a matter of fact I recently spent a fantastic weekend there. One of my best actually. But now will not be able to call this place home. Let me explain.

"I do not understand what I do. For I want to do, I do not do, but what i do i hate." Romans 7:15 My pastor constantly says that we blame to much on the devil, the real battle is with the flesh. And this weekend was proof of that. The hardest thing to do is to let go of your old ways.. My flesh likes to do certain things and while they have never harmed me or anyone else or were illegal for that matter I wonder that now with this understand of having a relationship with God how many people have a witnessed to just by them watching me....and have I been a good witness. People are not looking for you to talk to them about God they are looking for you to show them God. Because He's on the inside what do they see on the outside?

I am easily distracted. lol sometimes I feel like the puppy from the "Up" movie when they yell SQUIRREL lol and as I am walking to catch my bad to the airport at 530 in the morning and i walk by drug dealers, sex workers, non-believers, school kids, bright lights and loud sounds there was a quickening in my spirit. "Do u see why you can't live here?" God for real? really? Seriously? Come one! one weekend of fun and now i can't live here? "Where would you go? Forward or back? Can u handle the distractions? or will the bright lights and the loud sounds get the best of you?" I had to be real with myself....so no i would not be able to say no. I even went as far as asking myself why do you want to be there? all my answers were superficial. None of them led me to God.

Isn't this the point of it all?! That God get the glory! So I choose to be obedient and walk away. Because I know that while I'd be blessed, it would be a struggle and I'm done struggling... I'm living the abundant life and plan to do so till I'm called to be with Him. Until them I pray for a boldness and courage that takes me to the next level. for Guidance, Mercy and grace. Until its time, I'll stay on this side of the fence.

Note: when I realized the decision was made, not gonna lie... it hurt. But not that kind of sorrowful pain...i call it my vanishing city (limb) pain because it felt like a piece of me was taken off in order to get better..

The awakening...a check

Aug 31/ Sept 1 marks my 2 year anniversary in Tucson, AZ. If you know me you know that this stay has had its ups and downs...

I'm currently reading The Greatest Secret which is not to be confused with The Secret. The Greatest Secret is our personal relationship with God and the renewing of the mind. I am only on chapter 3 and as I turn each page I'm being slapped in the face. Its as if I'm reading about myself, my doubts, concerns, and questions but with instructions on how to fix it. Its all at my fingertips...but for some odd reason my dominant thoughts feelings are limiting me and what I can do for God, others and myself.

Its why I am still where I am at doing the same things etc. Do you have ANY idea how much that realization hurts!?! That there's no one to blame but myself. That I have to take my own advice and put on my BIG GIRL PANTIES and be about it instead of just talking about it. That dare I say it I have to be INTENTIONAL...

Lord your will not mine. No more complacency, mediocrity.... Asking the HARD questions and getting the answers. I WILL pass this test. I'm putting the plan into practice.

SIDENOTE: A great friend just shared this with me

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
(Matt 10) NIV
In a world where there are endless opportunities and possibilities, one can only wonder about what could be or could have been instead of having regrets
or seeking every possible venue for the best results chose the ONLY one that's worth anything.

I see HIM

Yesterday I as sitting in bible study...tired. physically tired. This last trip's jet lag has really kicked me in the butt lol. But it was so worth it.

Were are currently studying Philippians and are on chapter 2 versus 1-9. When Bishop said to read slowly he meant it. Now I have read those versus many times but this time the words jumped off the page!

My favor tie is the part where Paul says to humble ourselves and take on Jesus' attitude and that Jesus gave up everything to become man because he saw the greater picture...How awesome is that?! He gave up streets of gold, glory and praised for us.. He went from being served to the one serving.. My mind is still trying to wrapped itself around that concept...Its too much! That some for real love... and the best part is that the miracles signs and wonders he perform were as a MAN! not as God using the shell of a human disguising himself but a true man flesh blood emotions etc. and he was able to do what he did ONLY through faith in the Father...yeah could he have called upon his daddy and angels etc to help him out definitely but he didn't he knew there was process he had to go through to get to the end result..

so now when I'm upset or hurt confused crying mad whatever I remind myself that Jesus understand because he too had a process he had to go through...I just have to remember the bigger picture.

some adventures

My first ride on a Harley



The Snowbaording trip with little snow...


Looking out the MLKs Assasin's window


The Grand Canyon


The butterfly effect


My city that never sleeps yet brings me peace